I spotted him first thing in the morning. I approached him randomly about some parking matter and we simultaneously had that split second that runs for what seems to be hours, when you first look into someone's eyes that you can feel there is a storm brewing your way.
The five day traveling job suddenly became exciting, and it was still 4am into a foggy first day of shooting.
Initially, I ditched the dirty thoughts with reasonable explanations to my reservations about dating coworkers. I avoided looking. I kept myself busy. I noticed him again. And again and again and again. He would seat right next to me and look straight into my face and chuckle while asking me something. I was trying to focus on the job. I tried to be short on my answers and not look at him too much. I looked.
He was gorgeous. He had taken out the beanie and the jacket since we're inside the location, by that point. His jaws had a strong square angle and his puffy lips hugged his almost childish smile. His teeth were slightly crooked, what made him even more endearing. His scruffy dirty-blond beard looked so soft it begged to be rubbed against my lips and his emerald eyes pierced through my thoughts. He was stunning. Every muscle of his body was the right size; his posture neared a Greek God. He did have his share of Greek. He was Croatian, from a far far away Island of the Adriatic Sea. He was built and tall, and genuine and somehow even pure. He was a grown ass man. A men's man, malicious and flirtatious; tender and dangerous. He was enigma.
I needed to hear him. I needed to get to know him and look out for every red flag I could find to excuse myself from falling into another precocious relationship.
We ran into each other at a convenience store after work. He tried to scare me from behind an isle but all he could get was a huge smile popping out of my face. There was no way out. This train was bound to glory.
We kissed that night. I've run into a different coworker at the hotel elevator after the convenience store encounter and ended up heading to the room everyone was hanging out. Soon, I came to find out that the room belonged to my Greek Statue. He came out of the shower in towel and stopped for a second startled that I was right there hanging out in his room. He chuckled. He had that "you know what I'm thinking" look, I'm pretty sure I had it too.
Everyone eventually left, and as predictable as it gets, in about ten minutes we are all over each other. I liked being under his body weight; I liked his kiss, his taste, his smile. I decided to head to my room before it got out of hand, just so I could save some anticipation for later. I didn't want to have it too easy; I didn't want to lose my curiosity that quick, not with him.
The job went as well as it could get, even though we went through some heavy rain and even hail, all it mattered was that he was always close by to inspire my naughty thoughts.
Every spare moment it was all about watching him work
Him carrying his Art Department heavy shit around
Him with a screw gun or a chainsaw working on wood projects
Him driving that 5 ton monster truck like a Mini
Everything so small compared to his scale of man power
His masculinity intimidated me
And that couldn't be more of a turn on
I've never expected to get wet watching a man chew and spit tobacco
He made me. Again and again and again
His voice on the radio
His interaction with his coworkers
His way of just being
Everything about that man was a massive turn on to me
So it comes out that he's my neighbor
No, seriously, blocks away kind of neighbor
Which makes it that much easier to turn it into a weekly basis thing
Escalating to a many times a week kind of deal
We have fun
We ran together
We had brunches in cool cafes
And dinners we cooked for hours and hours
We love desserts and we were always hunting for a new one
We watched Seinfeld and Family Guy like we had never watched it without each other
We traveled separately
And missed each other like crazy
But we shared that with each other very subtly
We fell for each other but we played it
We longed the same things but we hid it
We wanted more but none of us brought it up
We secretly knew it
But we were too cool to be the first one to give it away
Then our time expired
The games and the lack of sincerity ripped us apart
We built a dull routine
Of no first-hand answered calls and late callbacks
We became unavailable and cynical
Eventually, all that was left was the reminisce of what it could have been
It's too late
We both know
We don't want to let it go
We don't want to let it go
We still see each other
It's been almost six months
It's been too long
I now want to let it go
I still have fun being around him
But it's not enough anymore
So long, farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye
