What is love worth if not for a power of creation? Isn’t the internal wheel overall turned so to switch the course of the every day ordinary? Isn’t love a tide of new, in which the old can be re-seen with newborn eyes? Isn’t love to awaken the soul and open the heart and rip it out of the glass box our chest is and let it throb lively on the table?
So, love is not just about happiness and comfort but also about pain and transformation. It’s about breaking the old into a tsunami of new intensities and inspirations, and in that light the outcome really doesn’t matter but the courage to put the core into the process and allow the flesh to be raw. It’s about vulnerability to offer the open chest and when the wound opens, only big balls can afford to go through it without running away overwhelmed by fear.
Love is there to create heartfelt poetry and transformational books and remarkable movies and powerful art. Love is here for me so I can write better letters and cry denser tears and crack old concepts and step humbly into what I don’t know.
Love, and now pain, is here so I can grow out of the mediocrity of the normality and touch the land of the uncertain. And I see my insecurities and face my self-esteem and bump into my fears and touch my rejection complex and all the obscurity hidden inside my soul. Pain is here so I change my course and rethink what I thought so well that I knew for sure. Love and pain are here so to transpire sweat and blood and tears to then turn it all into gardens in my brain and life.
So let the pain come in and flush the still water, turn my swamp into running river, turn my lazy blood into splashing waterfalls of flux sprinting through my bloodstream. Love and pain are here so to prove that I’m alive.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
The Woods
Little girl is lost in the woods
The sun has set and she suddenly woke up from her daze
She is surprised to be scared of the dark
But there she is full of fear
Little girl sits in a tree hole haunted by the forest inside her head
She has been lonely for too long
She has walked three times the length of the earth
And lived thousand lives in six years
But she is tired of the quest
Her heart has imposed her a rest
And she wishes for a tender embrace from the long branched tree
Little girl feeds her soul with salty tears and deep sighs
She has longed for so long
She has raised herself for that moment
She is ready but the moment haven’t arrived
Little girl is a mere statue of her being
She has tried to play and laugh and distract the earthquake cracking her head in half
But the earth doesn’t stop moving
There is a blizzard in her soul
She avoids looking at the hole in her chest
She can’t bear walking her tiny feet through the snow anymore
She wants to run from her own thoughts
But her strength is drained by her sadness
Little girl feels hollow as an old fallen tree
She lies on the ground buried in dry leaves
Yearning the comfort of her wholeness back to her breath
But she has lost the rhythm
She is paralyzed by the inertia of her emptiness
Little girl disregards her own margins and turns into air
She is cold breeze that has forgotten how to grip the heat of the sun
She flies through arctic mountains and gets overwhelmed by their depth
She looks down into her abyss and feels vertigo in her soul
Little girl misses the warmth within
She misses running the green grass fields freely
And skipping to the singing birds
But she can’t forge happiness
She stares at the water and sees heavy clouds as her reflection
She collapses into the river and melts into stream
Little girl is cold current running aimlessly through rough rocks
She lets herself go
Wishing for the river to choose her path
She can’t fight the flow anymore
She floats instead of swimming
Little girl misses home
She misses the comfort of the old textures
She closes her eyes and remembers her mother soft embrace
Her dad strong hand holding tight to her little one
She misses belonging to them but mostly to herself
Little girl knows that she is not alone
But man, she has been lonely
She misses living in the daylight
But now all she has is grieve inside
There are thousand deaths in her chest
Every inch of her body mourns what it isn’t anymore
The old still lives within
And she quietly prays for the space to vacate
Her heart has been broken in tiny parts
And it rips as a growing muscle
Her devastation burns every bush that she walks by
And her desolation turns blue into gray
Her world has been black and white
Little girl lays in the tree hole and hugs her own self
She keeps repeating out loud that she’s going to be okay
She will eventually turn her pain into gardens
And bounce around a bed of colored flowers
But it all feels still far from blossoming
It’s winter in her land
Little girl longs for spring
But for now the tree hole is where she is
The sun has set and she suddenly woke up from her daze
She is surprised to be scared of the dark
But there she is full of fear
Little girl sits in a tree hole haunted by the forest inside her head
She has been lonely for too long
She has walked three times the length of the earth
And lived thousand lives in six years
But she is tired of the quest
Her heart has imposed her a rest
And she wishes for a tender embrace from the long branched tree
Little girl feeds her soul with salty tears and deep sighs
She has longed for so long
She has raised herself for that moment
She is ready but the moment haven’t arrived
Little girl is a mere statue of her being
She has tried to play and laugh and distract the earthquake cracking her head in half
But the earth doesn’t stop moving
There is a blizzard in her soul
She avoids looking at the hole in her chest
She can’t bear walking her tiny feet through the snow anymore
She wants to run from her own thoughts
But her strength is drained by her sadness
Little girl feels hollow as an old fallen tree
She lies on the ground buried in dry leaves
Yearning the comfort of her wholeness back to her breath
But she has lost the rhythm
She is paralyzed by the inertia of her emptiness
Little girl disregards her own margins and turns into air
She is cold breeze that has forgotten how to grip the heat of the sun
She flies through arctic mountains and gets overwhelmed by their depth
She looks down into her abyss and feels vertigo in her soul
Little girl misses the warmth within
She misses running the green grass fields freely
And skipping to the singing birds
But she can’t forge happiness
She stares at the water and sees heavy clouds as her reflection
She collapses into the river and melts into stream
Little girl is cold current running aimlessly through rough rocks
She lets herself go
Wishing for the river to choose her path
She can’t fight the flow anymore
She floats instead of swimming
Little girl misses home
She misses the comfort of the old textures
She closes her eyes and remembers her mother soft embrace
Her dad strong hand holding tight to her little one
She misses belonging to them but mostly to herself
Little girl knows that she is not alone
But man, she has been lonely
She misses living in the daylight
But now all she has is grieve inside
There are thousand deaths in her chest
Every inch of her body mourns what it isn’t anymore
The old still lives within
And she quietly prays for the space to vacate
Her heart has been broken in tiny parts
And it rips as a growing muscle
Her devastation burns every bush that she walks by
And her desolation turns blue into gray
Her world has been black and white
Little girl lays in the tree hole and hugs her own self
She keeps repeating out loud that she’s going to be okay
She will eventually turn her pain into gardens
And bounce around a bed of colored flowers
But it all feels still far from blossoming
It’s winter in her land
Little girl longs for spring
But for now the tree hole is where she is
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