God, I hate small talk with all my heart. All the "hi-how-are-you-fine-thank-you"...Just to think about all the breath wasted on these senseless petty conversations, I'm speechless.
We all know how the weather has been crazy and Bush is unanimously hated; We all think that the elevator is taking too long, and the gas prices have been up in the sky. Still, is it really that awkward to be in silence with your own thoughts when around people that you don't relate to? Is it polite or actually hypocrite to start small talk just because you can't deal with your own emptiness?
I hate all the meaninglessly "good-mornings", "talk-to-you-later", "good-to-see-you" flushed out of dry mouths. I hate when tricked by distraction I catch myself mimicking some kind of that same shallow convention. Human and it's social codes.
I understand that since we're sharing the same planet, we should try our best to interact as amicably as possible. Personally though, I do not see myself as affected by a "good morning, Mam. Thanks for choosing Ralph's" as much as I am affected by the security guy outside that just gives me a good old genuine smile and a head nod. Actions speak more than a thousand words.
If you don't care about the answer, don't ask. If you don't mean it, don't say it.
Nothing worst than running into someone that you haven't seen in a while and you don't really have anything to share but random remarks.
" - Wow, I haven't seen you in so long.
- God, is it you? You look amazing.
- Oh, come on. You look great yourself.
- Thank you, isn't it crazy how the time goes by?
- Don't even go there.
- How have you been?
- Great, and you?
- Fine, everything really good, thanks.
- How is the family?
- Doing very well. Yours?
- Everything fantastic, thank you.
- What have you been up to?
- Not much, same old.
- Me too, still same thing since last time we've seen each other.
- Still leaving at the same place?
- Yes, you?
- No, I moved. It's a long story...
- We need to catch up sometime.
- Totally, lets keep in touch.
- Ok, lets do it.
- Well, good to see you.
- Pleasure seeing you, send my love to your family.
- Will do, and please do the same.
- Hope to see you again soon, girl.
- Me too. Bye now, have a good evening.
- You too, be well."
Come oooooooooooon, you're killing me.
Since you're not really into saying anything and you know the lack of interest is reciprocate, why not just nodding, maybe waving from far and moving on with your life without such a fake display of care. The sad part is that this is actually the kind of conversations we most have on daily basis. How many work calls and random people you have to formally encounter and bullshit for at least a bit to be polite(?) every day?
I hate formality.
Today I was reading this NY Times article about laughter. It claims that it has barely ever anything to do with an intellectual response to something, but a way to display a friendly approval:
"It’s an instinctual survival tool for social animals, not an intellectual response to wit...The brain has ancient wiring to produce laughter so that young animals learn to play with one another. The laughter stimulates euphoria circuits in the brain and also reassures the other animals that they’re playing, not fighting...Primal laughter evolved as a signaling device to highlight readiness for friendly interaction,”
So It's an animal social code with the desperate goal of fitting into a exclusive society. It's a ritual to show acceptance and to be accepted. The lower your status in the hierarchy the more you have to laugh your way up to the top. Pretty much, laugh at the boss's stupid joke and you'll have a better chance of being promoted.
You know, that shot of reality got me really depressed. So all the times I had the best laughter in the world it was mostly because during my early ages I was taught that laughter would buy my way into this world, and not because i was genuinely entertained? I refuse to think that I laugh to, somehow, manipulate the way people see me, instead of being a consequence of something funny.
Fuck it! I now make a vow to only laugh if it unexpectedly pops out of my mouth; To only ask "how-are-you" when I really care about the answer; to only comment on the weather when there is really something to say about it.
Enough FDA (Fake Displays of Affection) for ones life.
Oops, sorry, my boss just came in, had to slip a fake laugh so he wouldn't read into my anger
