Major Superstar DP Yells out loud to girl PA on a 250 people set
- Hey, I've heard you from Brazil. Do you shave your vaginaaa?
Girl PA looks at him, whole set stares at her
- Why, do you shave yours?
He likes her, He still yells on top of his lungs
- Just stay away from the Americans, all they want is blow jobs and anal sex
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Music video Director yelling on bullhorn
- Fuck this little jogging, you guys got to run like the Jews were being burnt in ovens
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Music video Director on bullhorn
- You guys there ,background whatever, from now on I'll call you bitches. MOVE BITCHES
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Grip guy
- Hey honey, let me take you home with me after work
Girl
- Shut up
Grip Guy
- Got to introduce you to my wife first.
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Set dresser
- You really cool, definitely want to work with you again. May I have your number for work
Next day phone rings
Set dresser
- Hey there, just wondering, do you like Thai food?
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PA
- No, no I'm actually not a PA, I'm a director and screenwriter, I've been trying to put this one project together, you know
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9am on set
PA
- Hey man, sorry to say but you have shit all over your nose
Key Grip
- What? Coke? Oh, hold on - he re-snores it - what about now?
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Music video Producer to PA
- I want you to cater to my girls... no, let me rephrase this, I want you to kiss their asses to the point that it gets obnoxious
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Producer to PA, nothing going on the set
- What's your name? Why are you chatting with the AC? You're not supposed to distract anyone. Return your walkie please, you should go home now.
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"Experienced" PA to rookie one
- Stop, stop, that's not the right way to tie a trash bag
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Superstar Talent at Malibu at 2am, no Jelly beans on craft service
- Guys, I want ONE Jelly Bean, thank you
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PA offset smoking weed
1st AD on radio
- Anyone has eyes on wardrobe
Stoned PA out of complete assumption
- She's by Craft, sir
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Aerial shots rolling for an hour, planes come down, Major director yells:
- Got the shot! Moving on!
1st AD
- Well, Agency wants a tight of the pilot flying
Major/Psycho Director yells right next to Village
- Fuck the Agency! I call the shots here, I gave them more than they asked for, there's enough footage! WE ARE MOVING ON!
Complete silence on set, 1stAD whispers with Agency for a second
1st AD on the Radio
- Checking the gate!
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