A Day

That moment right before falling asleep
When the eyelids succumb to its weight
And the body verges numbness
Reality blends with subconscious
And I get saddened by the eminence of the next day

Morning Afternoon Night
Past Present Future
Beginning Middle End

One less day of life
One day closer to death
Fuck that

Eyes, open up
Shake off the dreams
Brush away the urgency of the cycle to come
Steer me back into consciousness, Please
Awake awake!

Come back, my dear Day
I urge you to stay for at least a few more minutes
Let me taste you one last time

Hold my hands tight
And cease later

Overflow

Throw me the life-vest
I've been drowning in emotions

NY

New York New York
Wait for me

I'm about to catch up with you

Mothafucking You, Again

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Where is my teacup?

I know, I know
One is made to be self-sufficient
Independent
Happy in their ultimate loneliness

I’ve been told to be ashamed of needing
Never long for a man, little girl
You can take the world alone

Copy that
I learned that lesson
I’m very good standing on my feet
Could run across mountains and rivers, storms and deserts
Without grasping for air

That’s not the point
Yes, I am self-sufficient
But it's not about what is sufficient, is it?
I want more

Cheer to the ones that stand happy alone
Never longing for a family
Believing that love is distraction

Distract me all you want
Call me dependent
Call me even needy (argh)
All I know
And I know it for fact
Is that I want to share

So blow away the ego smoke
Stop pretending I’m better off on my own

I’m here bored in my single-dome
Often wondering how do you look like
How does your body weight over mine
Where is the meeting place they’ve written down for us

Let me clear my throat:
I can’t wait to meet You

Half of myself, said Plato’s in his Symposium
All humans were hermaphrodite
Cut in gender halves just past creation
To perpetually wander around aimlessly
Searching for their respective concaves or convexes

Bring me my convex, please

I’ve disregarded the description list
I have accepted the damn fate to introduce me to you

Forget the exact qualities
Stereotypes
And close calls to perfection
Reveal the flaws
I have quite a few of my own, too (not that many)

The hell with seeking the right ingredients
I don’t want to know the recipe
Just bring me my meal!

I’m not here praying for surface
I wish for the depth of a parallel universe where two people forget all rules
Land where all Past is left behind
Past that only handcuffs me to yellow memories and shallow longings

I want to move forward

I’m tired of chasing the rabbit through a bottomless hole
I want the fantasy
Where is my teacup?

I just want to share it

LA Emptiness

Don't like walking in LA
The emptiness of the streets makes me uncomfortable

If I must
I rather run

Run away

Modern World

I know, I know
You don't have time for feelings.

One Man Land

More and more I know
Life with you would be lonely

Your world is too small
All the countries and seasons you go through in a day
Do not widen your margins

Your land is one man and one man only

You swim alone
Stuck under water
Filling up your minutes with pressure
You suffocate

I watch from far
You don’t want to be saved

I see you there at the corner
Walled in great commitments
Wishing I could crack you open and awaken your eyes

Turn off the AC and open the window
Look at the world outside
Forget the accomplishments and start living them

Still, I watch you quietly

I’ve longed you for days and days
And here I stand on our last hour
Sitting on your couch
Your presence pulsing quietly on the table
Five miles across the room

We are going to break

Magical Bubble (Why Can't We Be Friends?)

I know your tricks
You’re trying to erase me again
Hide me in that little cave you shoved me when we first met

Your reasoning has been well exposed
I get it
But it's just that thing you do about trying to hate me
(You can’t hate me, no way)
I can't understand

We had our magical bubble
Fairy-dust and twilight
The ocean in your eyes was my escape

Your narrative
The poetry of your thoughts
The gentleness of your ways
It kept hovering me

The taste of dream left in my mouth
Turned every feeling into tenderness

But my care for you is parallel to reality
Not a slight intention to be intrusive
It hears you from afar
And shares secret in whispers

There is no space for future
For reliving what we had
The Present has swallowed it
It froze in the Past

The bubble has popped

But Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?

Lust?

I woke up one day in my late twenties
And the warm body by my side
Was just a hollow reminisce of my old ways

Friends with benefits had no more profit

I sat there
Staring at my longing
Wishing my cure was a kiss away
But my emptiness felt even fuller

And I prayed
I prayed and prayed

Oh Lord, let me fuck
Let me fuck just for the sake of it

But no, romanticism turned off all the intentions
Love
Eros whispered in my ear

I yelled at my brain:
What kind of fuckery is this?
It stared right back at me
Unaffected by my plead

I try to insist

I wander around double looking at men
Measuring them by inch
Perversion in every pore
I transpire fire

Come closer and you’ll see
It’s all bullshit
Love has hit me

No exclusivity on the longing
Forget the perfect-lover list I wrote that Saturday afternoon
It's just the idea
The concept of sharing intimacy with complicity
Nakedness that’s not only skin
Much more
All the stuff within

And it only frustrates me to know better
To watch myself watching them
The men
Wishing their taste could be my medicine

That bottle is empty
If I were to head their direction
I’d walk right through them

You grew up little girl
Look at the woman in the mirror

Just Friends?

While here I was, sitting by my table, thinking about you.

I spent the whole morning a bit lost in your land, emerged in your mismatched pupils while wondering the taste of your tongue.

I sat there with your warm hands rubbing my fingers and I longed your delicacy more than ever. I wanted to touch you, to hold you, to hug you so tight so to forget our margins and disregard the boundaries of matter. I listened to your soft voice while watching you being you, laughing, talking, gesturing, and I couldn’t help but drifting into your vulnerability. I saw your eyes fill up with salty tears and all I wanted was to swim on them, to float on your secrets and duck dive into your abyss, to later peacefully sleep in your nest.

I want to hear more, to know more, to learn you from cover to current always craving the next chapter.

You are very magical to me.

You are this ocean of tides clashing into my shore, pulling me closer and close. I see a broken little bird within and all I want is to nurture it, to rock you in my arms and breast feed you with the golden nectar love is.

With care comes fear, comes the ghosts of shattered possibilities and potential lost. I have the same wonders and hesitations about getting too close, too lost in each other, afraid of, later on, losing you. And I must remind myself that fear is so paralyzing, and really only destructive to the brewing intensities that usually tend to seem easier to deny than to live. Fear is that twisted defense mechanism that overall stops one from living instead of simply existing. Fear is the stupid ego fighting hard the gut feeling we learn so hard to disregard.

And when I finally come to find myself fulfilled with the fundamental liberty whole feelings require, I realize that overall life it’s to be lived more, and anticipated less. So, with that in mind, I won’t attempt to abruptly change our dynamic. I’ll simply let it be, I’ll let us keep playing this song we’ve been subtly making, without trying to set the pace, to set the tone, the course. I’ll sing along our slow tune and let time work out our longing paths, always wishing to never be too far to forget your texture, and maybe one day, closer than just enough.